One question that comes up very often with my brides is “Who do I have to tip and how much?”.
It’s a very confusing thing, there is no question.
First off, on a philosophical note, while I understand the concept of tipping (when someone goes above and beyond and gives you outstanding service) I do not care at all for how it is expected and I would say so far as demanded in certain industries. Staff should always be compensated properly for their work by their employer and then tips should be given by grateful patrons to those deserving of it. Though what I find even worse is places that charge an automatic gratuity before the service has even been delivered. Then what is the incentive for staff to earn that gratuity?
And sometimes it has been said that you don’t tip the person who owns the business but you tip the people that work for that business. But sometimes you don’t know if the person doing the work owns the business or not.
Okay, enough of my rant and back to answering the question at hand.
First, let’s start with the folks who expect a tip, period.
Your Hair Stylist: Whether you go to them or they come to you on the day of the wedding, they expect a tip. That is whatever you would normally tip them if you got your hair done, typically about 10-15%.
Your Makeup Artist: Same as the hair stylist. A 10-15% tip is expected.
What if you feel that you are being charged a ridiculous amount for your hair and makeup to begin with and it’s for sure the owner who is providing the service? This is a dicey one – many people would say no tip required as they are already being compensated for their time at the rate they agreed to. But use your judgement.
The Limo Driver: A 10-15% tip is expected. But watch out! Many companies add in the gratuity automatically into the contract and you may have already paid the tip in advance, so check your contract as there is no need to tip again! But for those companies that do not collect it in advance, it is so “expected” that I’ve had some drivers literally ask me about their tip, before they have even started the day! Yes, it is that ridiculous. (These are not companies I would use but sometimes I am hired just for Day Of Coordination where you are dealing with vendors the couple has selected themselves, often on the advice of well-meaning but perhaps uninformed family, friends and coworkers).
Now for the optional people who are not expecting a tip and won’t hate on you for not providing one. But let’s face it, who doesn’t love getting recognized for a job well done especially with some extra cash? In these cases, you don’t need to use the 10-15% rule per se but use your judgement as to what you think is appropriate for their level of service and extra work for you.
Band, DJ, and MC: Did this DJ and/or MC do an exceptional job of keeping the crowd entertained? Was the party hopping all night? Then they may be deserving of a little extra something.
Ceremony & Cocktail Hour Musicians: Again, if they did an amazing job or had to play under some exceptional circumstances (such as the weather was cold or they stuck around when things ran late) then you may consider giving them a bit extra.
Wedding Planner: So obviously I’m biased on this one but here is one case where a tip may really be warranted. Your wedding planner has probably been on this journey with you for up to a year. Has she (or he) been there whenever the stress started getting the better of you, keeping you sane during all manner of crisis? A planner is often called upon to be a support system for the bride and groom when the rest of the world seems to have gone mad. Did your wedding planner help pickup and deliver extra things to the wedding for you to help you save on costs? Did they drive you around town to your appointments when you didn’t have a car? Did they get drenched in the rain trying to move your outdoor ceremony inside when Mother Nature didn’t cooperate? Did they stay till 3am helping you pack up and put away your gifts and other items to be taken home after those friends and family members who you thought would do it up and left or got too drunk to be of any use? These are all examples (all true, by the way) where you might want to give a tip of some sort, even if not monetary, as a gesture of thanks.
No tip required; in most cases these are people you are buying a tangible item or product from:
- Stationer (the person you got your invitations from)
- Cake Decorator
- Florist
- Photographer
- Videographer
- Your Officiant. Not a tangible item but there is a set fee you are paying for a set service and usually there isn’t much deviation from this service (little opportunity to go over and above). Note that if you are getting married in a house of worship, you will likely be expected to give a donation to that church/temple/synagogue, etc. rather than directly as a payment to the person officiating, and this is often discussed and paid in advance.
- The Reception Venue Staff: I put this here because 99% of wedding venues out there automatically add the gratuity (usually from 15-20%) to your contract and you pay this in advance. So no need to pay again! However, if your contract does not have gratuity added and they leave it up to you, then treat this like you would any restaurant and tip accordingly.
So in summary, hair & makeup expect a tip. You may have already paid an automatic gratuity to your venue staff and your limo driver so check your contract first then tip accordingly if not already done. People who are selling you a tangible item (cake, invitations, flowers, photographs) don’t get a tip. Everyone else who is providing their services to you – entirely up to your discretion.
